What Are Your Self-Limiting Beliefs?

Written by on August 7, 2014


One of the hardest parts of personal growth is managing self-limiting beliefs. It’s not what you do that matters, but who you become in the process. It doesn’t matter what company you work for, what job you do, if you’re a stay at home mom or dad, or even if you’re in between opportunities. Making the most out of every day is the ultimate euphoric feeling.  It’s that feeling that you left it all on the field, that the days fly by, that you’re so busy you forget to eat, the idea that you could not possibly squeeze one more experience in and you’re left feeling spent and unbelievably satisfied.

You don’t know that feeling? Why not?

How can you be trusted to help cultivate other people’s potential when you aren’t living up to your own? It’s one of the biggest reasons people ultimately fail at developing other people, which is the primary function of leadership…AND of parents!  Most people have heard the phrase “fake it ‘til you make it” and many are living that out. It’s okay to fake it for a while, provided you’re doing the work that will get you where you want to go.

How can you be an amazing leader or parent if you don’t feel deserving of success? I can’t tell you how many incredibly talented people I’ve met that have no idea how special they are. How does that happen? Was it something their parents said? An off-handed comment by a Grandparent? A parent of their best friend? A teacher that embarrassed them during class? A coach pushing too hard? A spouse? (or ex-spouse) A sibling? How can someone give all of his power to someone who is probably not living up to his own potential?

People spend millions of dollars on books, seminars, psychologists, and life coaches, trying to “live up to their potential.” Just the fact that you want to up your personal game is a huge part of the battle. Have you ever met or spent time with someone that has made a commitment to grow or improve their life? Don’t you love spending time with them? Have you ever been that person? The one others sought out?

Or maybe you were on the right path, you had it figured out, and then one day the spark was gone. The energy that made you jump out of bed had somehow disappeared.  Perhaps someone you value threw a big bucket of water on the “fire” that was fueling you. Maybe you just jumped in a big pool and extinguished yourself by not continuing to grow. Over time, you started to buy into what you believed were flaws about yourself. You accepted them as the “truth.”

Here are a few questions for you to consider:

  • Do you think you need to make some changes in your routines?
  • What do you think is holding your back?
  • What are you most passionate about?
  • Are you aware of any self-limiting beliefs?
  • What is the worst thing someone has ever said about you?
  • Is what they said true?
  • How does that statement play out in your life day to day?
  • Who is on your personal Board of Directors?   (who is giving you counsel?)

It would take days to answer these simple questions. Most people have never thought about their own self-limiting beliefs, the deep down feelings of self-worth. After a lot of introspection, most people do come to the conclusion that there are things they are unconsciously believing that aren’t even true.

I love the title of Byron Katie’s book, Who Would You Be Without Your Story? You don’t even have to read the book (but you should) to understand the point. What is your success story? What do you believe deep down in your gut you truly deserve? It’s important to know because it will define you at some point. It will drive you or sabotage you, and it’s totally your choice.

Leading people effectively requires an in-depth understanding of your own self-limiting beliefs and a huge dose of personal awareness, neither of which is easy to ascertain.

Let this be the time that you finally do something about the old tapes playing in your head that have been holding you back. There are people depending on you….co-workers, bosses, children….and YOU.